Read Carefully...

...and take notes.

Tonight I came home angry and upset from work. If I had initially written this entry before calming down it would have read much differently. I'm fortunate though to have calm and humorous friends who also write blog entries that I check periodically (okay so just about everyday). Tonight I was reading Brendan's latest blog entry and it had a very soothing effect on me. I was halfway through Brendan's entry when I realized I was laughing over chamber pots. That's when I knew the world was right again.

What had me so upset earlier was a large table of people that decided not to leave me a monetary tip, instead they found it cute to leave me a written tip.

And I quote, "The best tip we could give you is to read your Book of Mormon, and pray about it concerning the truth. God will give you the answer and eternal salvation if only you accept it."

This short message was written on the back of a credit card receipt. I probably stared at this note for a full minute just burning it into my memory. I've experienced a lot working as a waitress, but never this. Sure, I've had people not leave me tips before. I've even had people walk off without paying their bill. But I've never had someone give me a verbal tip like this.

Now, I have many Latter-Day Saint friends here in Utah. I respect and love each of them, and I know they would never do something of a similar nature, nor do most people in the LDS Church. So, I'm going to try to write this next part without any anger or generalizations to one particular faith. (Cause lets face it ignorant people come from all cultures, religions, races and sexes).

I'm ignorant in a lot of stuff myself, but as far as the restaurant business goes I'm fairly knowledgeable. There are certain things that I'll never do at a restaurant (I'm sharing so you won't find yourself as an ignorant one).

1. I'll always leave a monetary tip (no cards, notes, verbal tips, or gifts in exchange).
2. I'm careful to remember that servers are people too and deserve respect, a please and thank you are nice.
3. I'm always carefully of the time (how much time I occupy a table (remember tables are a servers livelihood - I certainly don't need to sit there for three hours or more - and the time as far as the hours of business).
4. Along with the hours of business I always make sure that I can be finished and out the door of a restaurant before it closes. If I won't be able to sit and finish my meal before their closing time then I won't go out to eat.

The last table I served tonight (the note on a credit card receipt) broke a lot of my rules. They showed up at a quarter till our closing time with a party of 15 people. When I saw them walk through the door I wanted to cry. Here we were (the waitresses, cooks, dishwashers, management) all about 15 minutes from leaving and going home and in walks all these people. Our night went from almost over to another two hours to go.

Of course as you know I waited on the table. For the most part they ignored my presence (which meant I had to ask questions several times just to get their attention). The only time when they realized I was there was when the grandfather figure asked me if I was LDS and when I said I wasn't, almost all of them told me in turn what a blessing I was missing.

Finally, we had their drinks and food served and everyone seemed content. They used a credit card to pay and you know the rest of the story about the note. So, there I am staring at this note at about 11:45 p.m. almost an hour after we had locked our doors. Chili's restaurant had stayed open for them I had stayed working past closing to serve them and they didn't leave me anything (and remember Chili's only pays me $2.13 an hour). So, for the two hours extra work these people put me through I made a total of $4.26 which bussers, bartenders and the government all got a piece of. In the end I probably lost money waiting on this table. I can't say the situation was making me very happy.

Okay, I'm making myself angry again. I have a lot of praying I need to be doing, trying to forgive them their ignorance and poor behavior. Let me just say one more thing, in an effort to look at the positive this group of people taught me one valuable lesson; always be aware of your witness. I'll tell you one thing, I'm not any closer to stepping into an LDS Church or picking up a Book of Mormon from their witness and note.

I said this earlier and I'll say it again, I know some of the greatest Latter-Day Saints, don't judge the lot based on the actions of a few. My story wasn't for the purposes of putting down any faith or religious belief, it was more for the sake of sharing what NOT to do.

Jamaica...

...the long awaited account of my visit to Jamaica (the condensed journal version). I use the word yesterday throughout these entries. Each morning I wrote about the past day, so take whatever date is given and put the previous date to the events and you'll have it right.

April 26th

So today is to be my first full day in Jamaica. Yesterday felt full, as full as a half day in the country could be. Yesterday, we accomplished a nice two hour tour (drive) through-around the country. Then arrived at Maranatha School for the Deaf to meet Monika (Monica - not sure about the spelling) and Michelle.


We started our time at Maranatha with a nice hot sweaty game of volleyball (I was truly out of practice). The game itself was interesting with some of the deaf children there. I learned to work with non-verbal communication. These children are absolutely brilliant when it comes to relating non-verbally.

We spent our evening eating pizza and sweet pineapple, then it was time for even sweeter fellowship.

April 27th

Yesterday was quite an eventful day. It began early at Maranatha and ended up in Kingston. First off wee put in a visit with Michael and Pearl James. This visit became more of an adventure/errand run.

Michael and Pearl rented one of their homes to Willard and Melba Heatwole when they were here (Jamaica) in the 1990's. Brendan has kept in contact with them during his time in Jamaica, and is often referred to as Willard's grandson (not that he seems to mind).

During our adventure with Michael we were able to see Savanah la Mar and visit his Marl Quarry. What visit would be complete without some food - in this case it was patties (my first Jamaican flavor experience) which were pastries with beef filling (very spicy).

After our visit with the James' it was a three hour plus drive in to pick up Paul (Brendan's boss) from the airport at Kingston. The drive from the airport to Brendan's apartment turned out to be quite an adventure. We ended up almost driving through the Kingston open air market. What we did manage to get the through was quite crowded and eventually we had to reverse our way out.

It was here that a Jamaican man came up to our car with an offer. "Hey Jakies you want a skunk?" I was initially thrown off by the offer of a skunk. It was until Brendan explained that Jakie was another name for whitie and skunk was a name for the drug he was offering, that I got pass the visual of being sold an animal with a white strip.

Brendan's apartment offers an incredible view of Kingston. He's really lucky to be living up on the hill overlooking the city, being able to see the bay so well. We enjoyed the view for awhile before heading back into the heart of the city for biblestudy at a Mennonite Church.

This is when I met the female Salters (with MCC) living in Kingston (whom I'm now staying with). There is Katrine, Diana and Leah all of whom have been serving in Jamaica for the last eight months.

At biblestudy we talked of the proverbs, but what really stood out to me was the idea of "promises." What are God's promises, and how should we understand them? (just a question I'm left thinking).

April 28th

Yesterday we (Brendan, Ted, Leah and I) went over to Port Royal. There was a lot of great history there dating back to the 1600's. The fort there was closed but we still managed to see most of it plus a few other sites.

From there we stopped at some war relics from this past century. It was a great view of the coast and not a tourist attraction (I loved it).

Then along the same road we made a visit to the screwfly program center. Its at this place where the sterile flys are hatched and then pilots like Brendan are able to disperse them. I learned a great deal more about Brendan's job and the importance of it.

Next came a short (but windy) drive into the countryside to see some old aqueducts in a field. This was nearby the Holdeman Mission house so we placed a visit. There we met the newly established missionaries Vance and his wife Marrisant (I hope I have the right spelling for her name) and their three children.

From there it was the scenic drive back to Kingston and onward to an evening with Ron and Gussie Good, the MCC leaders for Jamaica.

April 29th

Yesterday was at a nice slow pace for a change. I slept in and took my time getting ready until about mid-morning. Then Sib (Paul's wife) came to pick me up for some shopping, lunch and a lot of visiting.

It was nice spending some time getting to know Sib and hearing about her life. It was also very relaxing time.

After our afternoon of visiting the boys came home from work and talked shop for the next hour or so. Having already heard from Sib earlier about the dynamics of some of the working relationships I had a better insight into what was going on.

After an interesting dinner of rice and ants at Brendan's apartment it was off to Waterloo Mennonite for youth night. This was a disorganized affair that didn't have much meaning for me. It was fun fellowship though.

April 30th

Yesterday was an early start to a long day. We (every Kingston Salter minus Katrine) drove two hours out to Portland. There we disembarked from the vehicle to beat it out on our own two legs. On foot we hiked along the Foxes River to the Rio Grande (Jamaica has its own Rio Grande).

It was a great hike. Wonderful scenery, nice weather (at first) and some spectacular views of waterfalls and caves.

The hike back was fine, but we were dealing with the rain. It was still raining when we arrived back at the car and this was where we had wanted to change into our dry clothes. Changing back an operation of taking turns in the car. Eventually we were all dry and on our way back to Kingston.

On the way back we stopped for some jerk in Buffs Bay and took it to a Salter's home for a meal. Nick was the Salter and we had a nice visit until it was time to continue along home.

Exhausted we climbed into our respective beds and fell right to sleep. Well, actually not before some of us girls walked to Devon House for ice cream and girl talk. My flavor was a delicious pineapple.

May 1st

Yesterday I went to Church at Waterloo Mennonite for their regular Sunday service. Much could be said to describe the experience, yet I could sum it up in three words, "It was different."

After Church Brendan came by to take Diana and I up to Blue Mountain to meet Ben and go hiking. We had a wonderful romp in the woods and then it was back down to Irish Town (where Ben lives and serves as a Salter). We ate dinner there and was able to spend some quality time climbing trees and visiting.

May 2nd

Yesterday was an early start. First meeting Ben and then traveling to the August Town primary school where he volunteers. There I saw what I consider the saddest, most depressing conditions (it just broke my heart).

First off I noticed the structure of the school. It was set up with several grades in one building the only thing separating the levels was chalkboards (the teachers though seem to have learned to teach around the noise level created by so many people in one open building). The noise could be absolutely deafening and made me wonder how these children ever were able to concentrate (again I think the children have adapted to concentrating in loud environments).

Next I was shocked to learn of the lack of reading comprehension in most children. I met a fourth grade (grade four) girl who certainly couldn't pronounce the words. In fact in some cases she couldn't spell the words. She simply wasn't comfortable with the alphabet. For awhile I sat there watching Ben work with her and tears just stung my eyes.

I was remembering all the wonderful chapter books I could read at her age. I use to come home from school and lie on the couch in our company room and just read. It was such a wonderful pleasure for me. New worlds and opportunities opened for me when I read. My heart longs for this little girl to experience the same joy from reading.

Next Brendan and I traveled over to the Jamaicans For Justice center where Diana works. We visited a boy's school with Diana to talk on human rights (Diana did the talking, Brendan and I just listened).

Shortly before visiting the boy's school with Diana, Brendan and I stopped for lunch at a Tastees. It was there that we met Elders Hansen and Redd, two missionaries with the LDS Church.

These missionaries gave me an insight into the LDS Church here in Jamaica. I learned that the LDS Church in Jamaica is quite small in numbers.

Both of these Elders were from Salt Lake City. At first they were pretty friendly towards me, but their attitude changed somewhat when they learned I was not LDS myself.

In the evening Brendan and I included ourselves in a MCC event over at Ron and Gussie Good's home. There we met a former missionary family that had served over a decade before in Jamaica.

After dinner it was back to Brendan's apartment complex to visit with Paul and Sib. Sib had recently bought their Moses Basket that they'll be using as the baby's crib (atleast for the first few months). We talked over some ideas for bedding the basket which will be quite a job.

Awhile later we traveled down to the Salt house where we had a spur of the moment "dance party". In all it was a very late night.

May 3rd

Yesterday was the nice long drive from Kingston up to Montego Bay. Brendan and I definitely took the scenic route and had a lot of fun along the way.

Once in Montego Bay we had some time to kill before Robert and Lois Wenger's plane arrived (they were coming back to Jamaica from a visit home stateside and we were picking them up at the airport).

First off we found a post office to mail a letter to Jewel. Then we went out looking for CUMI (a home for the mentally ill) where Sarah one of the Salters is serving. It was nice meeting Sarah, but it was a rather short visit.

With more time yet it was off to get some lunch and do some shopping. Taking Brendan shopping is quite an experience. I was a little surprised by how comfortable he was with the amount of shopping we did (he never took me as someone who would like spending that much time in stores). At one point I was even laughing on the inside because I deliberately got him to hold my purse for me...hehe (how cliche).

Finally it was time to pick up Robert and Lois and take them to the YWAM center for the night. In the end we all ended up staying at the center meeting Kenny and Stephanie Stoner (grounds leaders).

After a nice dinner at The Native we went back to YWAM center and had a visit with the Stoners. It was great to hear how the Lord's been using this ministry to bless Jamaicans and other nations as well.

May 4th

Yesterday was the day I left Jamaica. But before my plane left I still had the morning to spend with Brendan, Robert and Lois. It was nice spending time with my Christian brothers and sisters.

Then it was off to the airport and on my way back to Utah.

Embarrassing Situation...

So tonight I almost cried at work. Someone decided to publicly embarrass me before a room full of people, and I almost lost it and started crying (that would have been real professional).

As a server I meet all types of people. There are those that make me angry, but after it's all said and done I just end up feeling sorry for them. There are those who are really cool, and I always hope to meet them again one day. And then third type are the non-descript, that don't leave much of any impression, and I'm sure I probably won't remember them the following day (hey I meet a lot of people give me a break my memory isn't all that great).

Tonight I met a older woman who initially made me very angry. Like I said earlier I usually just end up feeling very sorry for these people who upset me so initially. She came with a larger party that I was serving. They called ahead for seats and the hosts held my table open for them for a little over an hour (which is absolutely ridiculous when we're so busy on a Friday night). They were just late showing up, but when they arrived they had a table right away. They had excellent service, because I made sure their drinks were never empty and they received exactly what they had ordered in a timely manner.

I was able to give them this quality service because I asked help from my fellow employees to deliver drinks or serve the food. That's right I was very busy with an overload of tables that I had been sat in a short order. I couldn't do everything that needed to be done by myself so I asked for help from others that weren't so busy. In the restaurant business acting as a team and helping one another is pretty standard, it's the best way to give great service.

When this large party had finished their meal I took payment on their check the older woman came up to be in the middle of the room and with a loud and raised voice proceeded to admonish me. About seven other large tables make up this room and a good number of people turned to listen to her as she loudly called me an incompetent server.

Her main complaint wasn't about the service, she admitted that the service was fine, but that I wasn't handling the service on my own. She felt that it was a sign of poor service skills on my part not to be able to handle all their requests on my own.

It wasn't what she said, but the volume in which she said it that was so embarrassing. I wanted to run away and hide with all those eyes on me and the stinging words. It was hard for me because I felt that I had tried my best to give them a good experience and now I was feeling belittled.

I apologized to her and to the rest of the party and explained that at Chili's we try our best to work as a team. I told her I understood what she was saying and I appreciated her straightforwardness (okay so that last part was a lie - but I was under pressure at the time and it just came out that way).

As soon as the party had left I went about my work as if nothing had happened. I wanted desperately to cry. I don't know if you know this about servers, but it's hard sometimes to get everyone what they want and in a timely manner. Stuff happens that you can't control and makes it hard to get everything right. It's nice though when everything does go as it should (like it had for this party) and when that happens sometimes what's even better than a tip is just a thank you from a table. Someone who acknowledges the work you did and appreciates it. That leaves a server feeling good inside, and makes the job more than just about the money.

I feel really blessed though, after the woman had left, several people in the room who had witnessed her tirade came forward and told me the opposite of what she had shared. They wanted me to know that they didn't believe her and what she had said was uncalled for. They acknowledged my good service and said I seemed like a friendly person with a nice smile.

After listening to all these people (each blessed me in a different way) I ended up feeling very sorry for this woman who ranted against me. No one in that room who heard what she had to say believed her. No one in that room thought ill of me or my work. Each person who witnessed her tirade thought less of her in the end. The only person in that room who was really embarrassed in the end was that woman who was trying to bring me down. I feel sorry for her. I seriously can't imagine spending my life being so critical and hard on others around me. I would never want my life to be about that, it would be so miserable.

I guess you could say that woman taught me a life lesson tonight. She made me even more determined to see the positive in people and situations. I mean, the more I look for the positive the more positive everything will be. And that would be a great life, a positive life.

So, in an effort to look for the positive I want to share with each of you the positive that I saw in this woman. She had her grandchildren with her tonight and you see how loving she was with each of them. Not only did her love come through with her grandchildren it was exhibited for her children as well. As an act of love and service she took care of the small grandchildren making sure their food was cut up properly or that they had what they needed to drink. This act of service on her part allowed her own children to relax and enjoy their meals without worrying about the kids. This woman was a truly awesome grandmother!!

Multi-tasking...

There are times when I consider myself the Queen of Multi-tasking. And I say that as if it's something to be proud of. Well is it something to be proud of, or should I be changing my ways?

The other night I was in the middle of a psuedo online biblestudy (it was just me and one other person - it was more like a discussion), I was crocheting a new afghan, and in the middle of all this I was talking to my friend Emily on the phone. And to me none of this was unusual behavior.

There are times when I feel that if I'm not doing two or three things at once I'm not being productive or efficent with my time. It's always in hindsight that I realize how overworked or exhausted I've made myself feel.

Like this evening when I was reading through a book, while I continued to work on crocheting an afghan, and making chocolate chip cookies on the side. As soon as I had the cookies finished and it was just the reading and crocheting I was working on I became very tired. I thought to myself I'll just lay my head down for a five or ten minute nap and then it's back to work (I had this lofty goal of finishing 9 afghan squares tonight - each taking 40 minutes to make).

Three hours after laying my head down to rest my eyes I awake to my phone ringing. Hmmm...I must have been more tired than I realized. Could it be the pace I've been working myself at that is making me feel this way.

Seriously, sometimes I wish I could just allow myself to handle one thing at a time (all the time - well most of the time). Maybe I should start by not multi-tasking my crocheting. You know they say crocheting and knitting is supposed to be relaxing. Ha! What do they know. I have a new afghan more than half way completed and I've only been at it for less than a week. See, how much you can get done when you multi-task.

Okay, so maybe I'm undecided on my earlier question if multi-tasking is a skill to be proud of or something I should change my ways about. Maybe I should get some feedback from all of you, my family and friends. What do you all think? Am I taking my multi-tasking overboard or is it a good thing to get so much accomplished in such a short amount of time?

Pictures Galore...

A while back my Mom sent me a cd of pictures from the early years that she had scanned onto her computer for preservation. It's fun, I like looking through the pictures every now and then, and remembering stuff from my childhood. Not only did my Mom put a good number of pictures of myself on there, she included quite a few of my younger sister and brother.

I thought I'd take some time to share a few of my favorite pictures with all of you. This first photo was choosen because unfortunately I'm wearing this baggy old t-shirt that I got on a visit to Washington D.C. (the t-shirst was about a wanted bear for stolen hugs - something like that). The t-shirt was a favorite of mine for some time, and now I'm glad that I couldn't find the thing even if I wanted too. What also makes this picture so tragic is the pink purse I have slung over my shoulder. Again this purse was a favorite of mine during this time. I think I was under the impression at that age that purses were cool (I've learned a thing or two since that time).


Come on, you know why I choose this picture, its just so darn cute. You have to admit it, I was an adorable baby : ) You can tell from this photo that I'm still the funny loving, smile on my face girl that I am now (yeah...sure).

This photo is in honor of Father's Day. Aren't we just the cutest pair? I think so!!






















So it was about time that I posted a photo of my younger sister, Lora. I thought while I was at it, I might as well post the picture of Lora and Lora. Yep, that baby and the older woman holding her both have the same name Lora Heatwole.

My parents thought that they might as well name my younger sister after my great aunt Lora Heatwole. At the time of my sister's birth great aunt Lora was 80 years old. My parents didn't think that the two women would have to share the name for that much longer (I mean great aunt Lora was 80). My sister is 22 years old now and great aunt Lora is 102 and still kicking. So much for my parent's belief that the name sharing would be only a temporary thing. Oh well, it doesn't bother either of these ladies to share a name, actually I think they are rather proud of it. Hopefully my sister will take after her namesake and live to a ripe old age as well.

I don't want to leave my younger brother Brent out of this picture frenzy. Here's that cute little blonde baby boy for ya, all wearing his Daddy's shoes. So adorable, ain't he? We still tease my sister about this, when my brother was born (and she was three at the time) she said upon seeing him, "We's baby is sooo cute."

Well, that's all the pictures for now. I hope you've enjoyed this stroll down memory lane with me.

An Update...

So, my little "mood" has past and I didn't even have to resort to the ice cream.

Now that I have posted the update on this ridiculous mood I keep mentioning, I'll move along to other news. I'll tell you all about last night at work (of course this is at Chili's). The strangest thing happened (and I've waited tables for four years now so I know this is out there), I was was given a $60 tip from one table. Okay, if this had been a large party of 30 or more that wouldn't be so out of the ordinary (well if they ordered plenty), but this was for a party of 5 people. Their bill came to a little over $100.

They paid for their meal with a credit card and then the guy paying slipped me some folded bills and thanked me for the great service. I thanked him and then walked away. In the back of my mind as I walked to the computer to finish closing out the check I was hoping for a $20 tip which would be 20%. When I got to the computer to take payment I pulled the bills out of my apron and unfolded them. First was one $20 bill, and then another $20 bill and then one more $20 bill. I couldn't believe, in fact I didn't it, I was sure it was a mistake.

I immediately went back to the table where the party was still sitting and quietly spoke with the man who had tipped me. I said, "Sir, I think there has been some mistake, your bills must have stuck together and you didn't realize that was three $20 bills you handed me." He just smiled up at me and said, "No, sweetheart that wasn't a mistake. You were very nice and sweet to us. You actually remind me of a granddaughter I lost years ago, and so I wanted to give you something extra nice. "

With that he just patted my hand and told me to have a nice night and I replied the same to him. Like I said earlier it was one of those strange incidences, that normally don't take place in the restaurant business. You know though I left feeling really good about what happened, and it wasn't about the extra money in my pocket (that's not important at the end of the day). At the end of the day what felt good was being able to give someone their granddaughter back, if for only just a little while.

Thanks for the Advice...

So, I'll be breaking my stale mood with prayer and ice cream!! : )

In a Mood...

...what that mood is exactly I'm not sure. Whatever name you want to put on my mood it isn't a positive one. And the thing is I like being positive. So, this mood pretty much sucks and I can't seem to shake it.

Ever been in these shoes before? Well, I'm taking suggestions, any mood breakers?

The Tomboy....

...turned Sunday best. I find this picture somewhat amusing. Most of the younger pictures of me are mismatched clothing. Hair that is chopped somewhat funny (because I got ahold of some scissors and decided I was a hairdresser). And then of course there are the pictures of me in funny places or covered with dirt.

I was somewhat of a tomboy back then. There was the occasional picture my Mother would take when she had me or my sister all dressed up for Church or some extended family event. In those cases she would have us in our nice Sunday dresses, she would even taken the time to do our hair, making sure everything was in place. This picture is an example of one of those nice looking moments.

Lesson Learned...

...some lessons need repeating a time or two (or quite a few) before they sink in and begin to take hold. Sometimes, even after the lesson has been learned we fall back into our old ways of thinking or doing.

Today I was reminded of a lesson I've tried hard over the years to grasp, but it still creeps back on me every once in awhile. It's about faith, and learning to place my worries in God's capable hands.

The story begins with me rushing to my car this morning, knowing that with time the way it was I would be arriving at just the right time for Church Service. I was thinking about the praise and worship team and how I was involved in the Church service as a vocalists. Before we begin each service the worship team meets in the pastor's study for a time of prayer and at the rate I was going I would be just in time for the prayer.

Get to my car. Turn the key, and NOTHING. Well, not exactly nothing, the radio came alive and my car tried to turn over but it just couldn't get up the gumption to do so. First thought, "Oh no, what am I going to do I have to be on time for Church I'm singing this morning."

Okay, now is not the time to panic I have to think rationally. Well, Church is within walking distance, but by the time I cover that ground on foot I'm sure to be late. Then again I could always call someone at the Church who might have a free moment to swing by and pick me up. Of course, Tommy would be a great person to call.

Called Tommy and he said that he'd be there in a few minutes. Several minutes later I'm still sitting there and worrying about how bad it was going to look for me to walk in late. So, in order to stop my internal worrying I call Emily Huffman so I can worry over the phone with her (but at that time I called it venting). In the back of my mind I keep envisioning how I've probably already missed the prayer and that by the time I arrived at Church the praise team would have already begun. Would I want to embarrass myself by walking up to the front, picking up a microphone and just pick up wherever they were, or should I just forget about singing today and leave them with the singers they had.

All this worrying and I still hadn't left my apartment parking lot.

Tommy finally makes his appearance and I'm in a real panic about time. We get to the Church with no problem. I rush through the greets, just quickly saying hello and see you later (I'll admit that was rude), and then I make the most amazing discovery. It seems the praise and worship team was running a little late themselves today and they hadn't even had there prayer yet. I had arrived just in time.

So now I was free of my first worry, whether I'd meet my obligations with the praise and worship team, I was then able to move onto the next worry concerning the state of my car. I'm ashamed to admit this, but as I stood before the Church helping lead them in worship my thoughts were more centered on my car. The questions were, "what was wrong with it" "how was I going to get it to the mechanics to have it fixed" "when would I have time to have it fixed" "how much was this going to cost me" "how was I going to get to work tomorrow without a car"?

All very worthy questions I guess, but much to weighing on me. Here again I'll be brutally honest, I'm at Church and leading worship, standing before the congregation in secret worry and I still haven't prayed over my situation. It's sad but true, I was holding onto the weight of my situation and not letting go even for God.

What's so marvelous about God is that He knows that we sometimes forget these lessons He keeps trying to teach us, and He's still ever so patient with us. This Sunday our scripture verse of study was Matthew 6: 25-34:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

These words spoken by Jesus, spoke yet again for me today. God's word was very much alive and applicable for me in my present. I heard with my ears the words from Matthew 6 spoken aloud, but my heart spoke a different message:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about the car you drive, whether it runs or won't even start. Is not life more important than a vehicle.

The message brought me around very quickly. I sat there in silent prayer offering all my worries from the morning over to God, knowing that He is than any mechanical failure. I sat in Church and REALLY listening with an open heart to what God wanted me to hear that day. I was free from my burden and able to move forward.

After the service several in the congregation thought it would be nice to go out for lunch. Well normally I like to attend these gatherings because it's just plain good fellowship. Today though I knew I didn't have a ride. So, I let it be known that I would like to go, but my car wasn't working and I would have to bum a ride to the restaurant and then back home. This wasn't a probably for anyone and eventually through the process of elimination I ended up in the vehicle of Jim and Becky Sandborn and their two boys.

We had such a pleasant time together and I probably enjoyed the afternoon more just for having that extra time riding around with the Sandborns and their lively sons (Mitchell 8 and Nicholas 6). When we arrived back at my apartment Jim asked if I would like him to check out my car while he was there. He said that in the very least he could attach the jumper cables and see if it might just be the battery.

First off they asked me to try and start the car again. It wasn't looking like an easy fix, the car lights came on, the radio turned on, but the car wouldn't start (and was now even making a loud clicking noise). We still attached the jumper cables just on the off chance it was a simple battery issue, but we didn't have a lot of hope (I was already thinking of the call I would need to make in the morning to a tower - which seemed ridiculous to me since my mechanic was a quarter of the mile up the road from me).

Jumper cables attached, I turned the ignition and wonder of wonders the car actually started right up. My next blessing came with Jim's offer to follow me down the road to a Pepboys that was still open to buy a new battery, which he could replace himself and I wouldn't have to pay the service fee.

Insert funny story here, at the Pepboys we tested my old battery to see how much juice it actually had. The man at the store said, well it'll take about 15-20 minutes to get a reading, unless the battery is really low then it'll take only about a minute or two. Twenty seconds later the reading was done and we knew that my battery was beyond low it was completely shot.

In the process of changing the battery we noticed that my rear tail lights were no longer working on the left side of my car. Again Jim knew more than I did on this subject, and I learned that instead of going to the mechanic and being charged $12 for changing a light I could easily do it for a little under $6 (the cost of the light itself).

At the end of the day my car runs, and is better off (working rear lights) than it was yesterday. It's not surprising to me that things have a way of working out on their own when we leave them in God's capable hands. He always sends us the help we need, we need only to ask.

Family Portrait...

I can tell you right now why I have that onery look on my face. And yes, I am the little girl in the picture. The look was produced because my parents were setting me up. The made sure I got that particular hairstyle (and they kept me in that style for years) and then they memoralized that unfortunate haircut with a family portrait.

Like I said, my parents were setting me up. Now whenever I look back on pictures of my childhood (which should be the sweetest years of your life*), I'm left with a bitter taste in my mouth, for the years I was forced to wear the heavy bang haircut. Poor unfortunate me, and that is why I'm wearing the "onery" face in this here family portrait.

*and of course my childhood was the sweetest years of my life...love you Dad and Mom!!!

An Update Just to Make An Update...

Okay, I should most definitely refrain from leaving voice posts ever again. At the time I think they're brilliant. During the moment I think that I'm leaving everyone more information that I can possibly take the time to type by hand, and you're getting it in story form with my own voice.

The only problem with voice posts is that when I'm leaving the message I feel as if I'm not talking to anyone in particular and I come off sounding...well ditzy. I listened to the post today and I couldn't believe the number of times I said "and" "whatever" or "um". I was simply horrified at myself.

I want to think that in normal conversation, one on one conversation that is, I don't use those words that often. Again, I want to think that in those conversations I'm a little directed and I come off sounding somewhat intelligent.

I'm thinking that from now on all posts should be in written or picture form. No more of these rambling voice posts that make me sound like some young teenage girl. "Like...um...and he totally dissed me and I was like whatever."

NEVER AGAIN!!!